"I love her so much" etc etc. No really, its been 2.5 years dating. we used the words partner. Or, I did. Right now I'm just sick to my stomach

Then suddenly "we're closeted" right in the middle of an event and I should just be "chummy". y'know, would I mind just turning off my feelings and emotions and keep the relationship I have on the downlow. Like it's no big deal. I'm not even worth a conversation to her.

Who the fuck have I been dating. Is it a real person or is it imaginary - like, is the relationship I have just a fantasy living out in my head. I feel used. Like I'm just a video game they play sometimes. They come over and play house and have this domestic life, with me. with my kids. Then they go back to their "real" life

I know I could be more generous with my interpretation. I know they're a good person and they've done so many things for me gone out of their way for me, showed me nothing but kindness and have literally never broken my trust. I know this was just a one time thing but the timing is also just especially awful. I told them they fucked up, I sent them a message. They acknowledged it. I feel good that I stood up for myself, that I said something. I feel worse that if I hadn't I don't think they would've even realized they did anything uncool.