The term “deescalate” never really resonated with me, specifically because I’m not on the escalator. If I don’t want to have sex with you anymore but I still wanna see you, that’s not a step back or a step down.

It makes sense that if my partner has a newborn that we’re going to see each other less, not just in the near future but for a long time.

A friend went through a bout of depression this year. We saw each other less. Now we’re seeing each other once a week.

A buddy and I got snowed in for three days yeaaaars ago. We snuggled, we made out, we lay in bed together and we literally never did any of that before NOR have we done it since. Just those three days. If anything, that experience escalated our friendship because we felt so safe and loved by each other after that. Years ago, we used to hang out once or twice a week; these days, I haven’t spoken to him for half a year. But I still love that guy and treasure the time we spent together and hopefully the time we have together in the future.

I feel like if you’re not making a deliberate decision to part ways with a person (like blocking or no contact or a breakup), then it’s normal for contact to ebb and flow. Deescalation makes it sound like our relationships are each on their own escalator, idk how to explain myself but do you get me?