Hi! :))
I wanted to share a bit of myself today, hope that's alright! <3

I'm someone who grew up in a dysfunctional home, feeling emotionally neglected by my parents. I may as well have not had a 'mother' figure— I never knew what it's like to have a mom who makes you feel safe, who you can run to for comfort, who wraps you in love and holds you close when you need her most. Mine struggled with mental health issues and narcissistic tendencies. She was physically there but emotionally unreachable- a shadow I couldn't touch unless I wanted to get burned. Over time I stopped trying, slowly forgetting how much I longed for a mother-daughter connection.

I got along better with my father- he still has a soft spot for me even now- but there was a careful distance between us that I could never quite cross. He was kind but often disappointed, reliable but not emotionally available. I desperately missed having a father who could be a warm confidant, someone I could turn to without hesitation or fear of judgment.

Now, as an adult with a naturally sensitive heart, I find myself craving a romantic partner who would act like a parent figure to me, be the mother and father I never had. Someone who would go beyond just being a great boyfriend, husband, or best friend, and really care for the little girl in me that's still waiting to be loved and cherished, to feel protected and guided.

This is why I'm drawn towards a soft dom and daddy dom dynamic. For me it's not just a surface level kink - it comes from a deep void, an intense desire to "redo" my childhood with a person I love and trust. Nothing feels more comforting than that idea, nothing would make me happier.

But sometimes, I feel guilty and ashamed for wanting this. I wonder if I’m asking for too much by expecting a father-like tenderness, care, and patience from someone who isn’t actually my mommy or daddy, and dealing with a grown woman instead. I worry that I'm unfairly burdening that future person when most people I know had incomplete childhoods and worse circumstances. What makes me special? So what if my parents weren't healthy and loving, how many ppl truly get to have that? Maybe I should just accept that it wasn't ideal, "grow up", and move on... but this need feels so deeply rooted that I don’t think it’ll ever fully go away, even as I work to heal.

I wanted to ask:

- Have you ever felt guilty for wanting a partner to fill the role of a parent figure?
- What emotional wounds are you hoping to heal through your dynamics? What’s your story? 💗

Thank you for reading, it means a lot!