My husband and I have been together for over 20 years. We are very good friends but both have issues with intimacy related to our attachment styles.

When I stopped drinking almost 3 years ago, I worried that maybe I wouldn't be fun any more. Or maybe my husband wouldn't like me as much when I wasn't the "life of the party" social butterfly.

It never, NEVER occurred to me that I might not want him anymore. In retrospect a lot of the pain I was trying to numb out with daily drinking was related to our relationship. We are amazing friends but we only ever had sex if I was wasted. He is not very intuitive about his own body and even less so with mine. I was never rabidly attracted to him but we did manage to have good sex earlier in our marriage. And so much of the rest of our lives are incredibly good. We are kind and considerate to each other, share values, a sense of humor, love of travel, etc. We have a son together and I have stepchildren and grandchildren whom I love.

Has anyone else out there had unexpected changes like this in their relationships after they got sober?

I want to be in love with my wonderful husband again. I love him but I cannot make myself feel attracted to him.

We are doing couples therapy to try to find a way back to each other. He is deeply hurt and terrified that I'll leave the marriage - and I have to admit I've been thinking about it.

Anyone else have a similar story?