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This is my first birthday away from my old bar. It’s my first birthday in COVID, so there won’t be any customers at my bar. My first birthday at a new bar, so no regulars or friends. Just myself and a staff I barely know. I don’t have friends anymore. The friends I thought I had turned out not to be friends or flipped on me recently without explanation and truthfully, I would be okay ending it with Odin, but it might be nice to spend it with somebody. 27 isn’t anything particularly special. Just another year closer to 30. This definitely isn’t where I thought I would be last year. I realized last night that I have not one person on my Facebook that I feel truly connected to - that I would truly care if they left my life. That I could pick my life up right now with Odin and leave this fucking place and start over. I just need the means. Maybe this is my quarter life crisis - hopefully it’s more like a mid-life crisis because fuck living to fuckin 100. My pack a day lungs don’t wanna deal with that shit.
I don’t drink and I don’t smoke pot. But, I will definitely be on addarall and probably a lot of caffeine and I’m sure I’ll have some Xanax on me to close the bar down. I’ll be out by 11 pm. I’m hoping to spend the last hour of my birthday celebrating it. And no, not with sex. God, sex is the furthest thing from my mind right now. Cuddling is good. Food. A drive. Whatever. Let’s talk.
Here’s some pictures:
https://ibb.co/X7rNPK7 https://ibb.co/B4wpFgb https://ibb.co/VYfwRwz
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