Bit of a discussion post to break up the monotony of hookup postings (romantic and platonic seekers, I don't include you in this, and wish you rare folks nothing but success and happiness). Anyway, I posted on this a while back. But this has been on my mind lately, especially with some of the things going on in the world.

Everyone has probably heard of the case of Ahmaud Arbery by now. We don't know all the facts of what happened as I type this now on May 14, 2020. But what seems to be self-evident is that the two men who were responsible didn't interact and treat him like they would a person they respect. Their actions show that they reduced him to something else, something less in their eyes, that gave them the self-justification to execute Ahmaud in broad daylight.

And that's my biggest issue with being called a "BBC"; it's a reduction of who I am to a body part, to something less. And though you on the other end might not pick up on all of the nuances of your actions, often I feel I get treated as "less" as a result.

Don't get me wrong; checking out my post history you can see I'm not on here looking for relationships. And though I only meet with those I like as people, I'm not necessarily looking for friendship either. Also, this isn't me playing a victim or crying "Poor me". At all. Being black in America is something I've learned to navigate, and in some instances overcome. I'm a pretty fortunate person in a lot of regards, and being black is just a part of the larger whole of who I am as a person.

The point of my posting is addressing where my race, or race in general, intersects with play of the kinky variet. When it comes to kink related fun, you always meet as people first, from a place of mutual respect. And when that's been established, then you feel comfortable enough to branch out into humiliation, or bimbofication, or cuckquean scenarios, or whatever tickles your fancy that wouldn't be normally acceptable in society. Anyone with any experience in kink will tell you that the most important thing is communication. But if that meeting of the minds in a non-kink way doesn't happen at the start, then you're already interacting in an imbalanced way. And that will inevitably lead to miscommunication, a crossing of important boundaries or possibly even harm. And of the physical or emotional variety.

Also, racism is racism. Even if it comes in the form of a compliment. As an example. Every Asian person can't do calculus equations in their head. And even if one Asian person you know can, then they're just really fucking good at mathematics. Affirmation of a stereotype is not proof positive of its validity. Putting anyone in a box of because of their race, no matter how well-intentioned it might be, is still confining them to a perception they might not possibly want placed on them.

So. Point of all this isn't to guilt anyone. This is ubiquitous in our culture, not just in porn, and at the end of the day we're all products of our time. Nor is it to kinkshame, if this does happen to be one you have. It's just to share my opinion on the issue based on my own experiences and how they've shaped my perception of this particular topic. Also, to hopefully raise awareness about this, and maybe lead to deeper thought in similar areas. And just to remind everyone that though many of us on here do look for something casual, maybe even a one-off, at the end of the day we're all human beings. Once whatever kinky itch we might have has been scratched, we head back to our lives to hopefully survive, thrive and grow. Nothing we do within a play space should make anyone feel like less of a person beyond that play space.

Lastly, I'll conclude by speaking to other black men on here. This isn't an attack against you at all, if you've posted looking and identified yourself this way. I'm not going to tell you how to label or define yourself, or how you want to be seen by others. All I'll ask is that you think about what I've said, and about how much you want any labels society pins on you to define how you're seen as a whole.

If you've made it this far, thanks for sitting through my quarantine fed, boredom-induced TED Talk.

Comments are open. Feel free to discuss. Agree, disagree. Upvote, downvote, ignore. It's 2020. Be a slut. Do whatever you want. Just be safe, sane and consent-conscious while you do so ;)

!unlock