So, this is a bit of an off the wall searching post, and this is probably not a great place to post it. But what the hell, figured I'd give it a shot anyways.

So, I have a history of being assaulted/raped non violently. I have a fawn trauma response where I will just comply with what someone wants til I feel like I can get to safety if I feel threatened. I've done a LOT of therapy work to address this, and have come a long way, but I'm to the point in my work where I can't grow by myself anymore. I need to get back out there, I need to learn how to do physical intimacy again.

I share this because, should anyone want to proceed with this, a potential partner needs to understand that there may be emotional stuff that comes up for me that may need some empathic navigation, I might freak out a little bit, I will certainly be reserved and hesitant, and I need someone who cares and understands this is a process of working through past shitty experiences for me and is comfortable repeatedly seeking consent, reminding me no is an acceptable answer, taking things slow (meaning sex may take a little while to unfold), etc. The reward on the other side of this is that I am pretty fun in bed - vocal, know what works for me, enjoys toys, giving, etc.

Not interested in anything kinky right now (though I have been kinky in the past). I really just need to experience safe and considerate vanilla intimacy that is more centered on my needs than yours. It's been about a year and a half since my last sexual experience, which was an assault. I am DDF and request the same, with proof. I don't dally with men who are involved with others, so please be expressly single and for my safety, I prefer that you aren't juggling multiple sexual partners. I am a plus sized woman (but don't assume that means I'm physically inactive or unhealthy... you'd be very wrong), so acceptance of my body type is a must.

If interested, please send me a well thought out message with your perspective on this and anything you'd like to share. I will respond to all kind, considerate messages; I will not respond to "hey, still looking?" Thank you :)