If I think about what the ideal relationship looks like, I imagine being completely transparent and authentic with someone. Not having to, or wanting to, edit myself the way we contextualize everything for social media - presenting everything in a mediated, high gloss best-of clip show format, but instead, living the really real and sharing it. That means complete honesty, lumps and all. It means, also, being considerate and compassionate towards my partner deeply and reflexively so that the authentic connection we share is safe for both of us. I'm not talking about some fedora-wearing "I'm just brutally honest" honesty, where the brutality is what's important. I'm talking about living, embodying and acting on kindness, through and through, so that IS the deeply authentic, completely transparent experience for both of us. It's not that there's never conflict, but rather than we know when it does arise we are both completely engaged in resolving it in a way that meets our mutual needs.
And sex. I mean, lots of sex. Preferably adventurous, kinky, fun sex - but also affection. I'm a hugger and a hand-holder and a touchy-feely type. My first love language may be words, but my second is physical touch, and that's very important to me. I give as much or more than I get. I know every dude on the internet wants to front-load all the sex talk, so I'm going to leave it at that, to explore together later, when it's appropriate, safe and wanted.
And nerding out. I mean, I love nerd stuff. I play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends, I WILL go see every Marvel and Star Wars movie, and I straight up lose my mind for Lord of the Rings. I'm not too far gone, I promise - I can pass for muggle at a cocktail party, my house is tastefully furnished and decorated with only a few dorky touches here and there - "stealth nerd" is my aesthetic. But in my mind, I’m probably coming up with the right Tolkien quote for everything, and I will, I mean, I WILL use elvish pickup lines on you. (Sindarin or Quenya, depending on whether you're a naughty elf-girl or a princess. Preferably both, situationally appropriate.) Whatever your fandom is, whatever you're obsessed with (which doesn't need to be nerdy, I do just fine with 'nerd-adjacent' partners, so long as she views my interests as a plus, rather than a drawback she can live with…) I'll support your enthusiasm and want to know what's lighting you up. Knitting? Show me how. Gardening? You should see my yard, I'm doing okay but I need your help! Just be keen on something, and share it with me, ok?
So what I do bring to the table, to deserve this amazing relationship? (And yes, all people are worthy of and deserving of love, but you know what I mean!) Not gonna lie, I'm single for a reason, there are drawbacks, perhaps insurmountable. It's ok, I understand… I’m a niche product. I'm 50, divorced, and a single parent of my (wonderful, amazing, delightful) 9 year old daughter half the time. I have two dogs and a cat, which means I have to end up at home, every night, forever. I'm a homebody in a lot of ways, though like a hobbit, I will strap on my adventuring pack at a moment's notice or any time a friend is in need! I've got a bit of a dad bod, so if you thought Chris Pratt was cuter before he was Star Lord, then we'll do fine. Those are the big drawbacks.
But on the plus side, I'm smart and articulate (I hope that is by now evident…) and I know my feelings and will endeavor to understand yours. I have a great job for a company I love that involves free theme park admission so if you like going to Disneyland, that's a plus, too. I'm ruggedly handsome, or so my friends tell me - tall, salt-and-pepper gray hair, green eyes, broad shoulders. I'll prove it with a picture if you write, and you'll share your picture too, thank you. (Imgur works, or whatever you prefer.) I own my home, and it's legit beautiful, with flowers, wild animals, an incredible view, and décor that emphasizes cozy. You'll like it, though my interior decorator friend tells me it has "big dad energy." And a giant tub, sized for two adults, with a TV so we can soak our cares away and binge watch something simultaneously! I'm an excellent cook. I know, it's immodest, but look, I'm being transparent here - this is one of my big skills, and my passion for French bistro cuisine translates very well to the plate. (I can't bake worth a darn, so if you can handle that, we'll be well matched. Or just do the dishes, whatever, but let's enjoy intimate meals together and linger over the wine. That's something that makes me very happy.) I can make, build and repair things - I've got a workshop for wood, leather and (somewhat) metal, so if you like crafts and working with your hands, we'll have that in common too. I'm also reliable. I will show up on time, I'll do what I say I'll do, I'll volunteer to help - you've never had a better emergency contact. I will never say I'm coming to something and not show up, lord I hate that. I dress well, though I don't trust my fashion sense anymore, so this may be something I need your help with, if I’m going to do anything other than play it safe with tailored shirts, jeans, and good shoes. (Also, I like good shoes, and if you want to show yours off, I will be appreciative!) I'm an avid reader and sometimes writer; my first love is science-fiction and fantasy, but my tastes range all over, with a particular love of Jane Austen and other novels-of-manners. Also any movie or show that's a period costume drama, I'm in!
I'm looking for my forever person, my emergency contact, my nerd-ride-or-die. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm enthusiastic about things and about people, and I'm not at my best when I have to pretend that's not the case in order to not be "too intense." I may be intense, but I swear by the White Tree of Gondor, that intensity is a power I use only for good and never for evil! (And if you just read that little cri de coeur and thought what a relief it would be to not have to pretend to be cool, then we may be well suited. And f you didn't, but you're willing to be brave and give it a try, then that is more than good enough.)
Looking for you. Hope you're out there.