Moving from a tier 1 city to Goa, I didn't think there would be such a sharp drop in the frequency of meeting emotionally available, cisgendered, enthusiastic, liberal female subs. Honestly, maybe I was narrow-minded in assuming that Goa being the land of liberal vibes would automatically entail more kinky people, or maybe I am unable to find them.

Maybe they're all on fetlife and I'm missing out cause I could never really understand how to use it as well as I do reddit (or maybe they're not, as I suspect). Maybe they're all at kink-con, being open and non-judgemental and public about their kinks, something that I'm not ready for, or maybe I should do as my therapist says and own my sexuality, who knows.

4 years ago when I started putting my preferences on dating apps and on reddit, or even 10 years ago, when I started looking for kinky dates after initial conversation, I saw much better results. Finding sexting folks on reddit was like shooting fish in a barrel (provided you're respectful, verify yourself, check for consent regularly, etc). Now, I'm on Feeld and r4r frequently, swiping and posting about - but no dice.

There may be some other explanations - aside from just that I'm locked out of whatever room the young folks are in nowadays - maybe they were all footloose in my early 20s and are married now? (I hope their husbands do what they need) or MAYBE (just maybe) - the bar is no longer the floor. I'd be happy if that was the case. When I started, just folks knowing I was liberal, feminist, asked for consent, performed aftercare was worth a gold star, enough to go from matching, to sexting, to face slapping, degrading and orgasm denial in 4-5 hours. Possibly it's not working for me anymore because what I thought was a special item is now the norm (I'd hope so). This would also mean I'd have to up my game, so I'm open to feedback.

So subs, (and doms) - tell me - what am I missing? How do you meet new partners?

Things I am not keen to do yet include : 1- pay for pure, 2- buy an iphone to install Raya, 3- attend kink-con.