Not long after AirBnb launched, I gave it a run as a host, as I live in the heart of Sydney and not far at all from Sydney Opera House. A month went by. Nothing - no requests to stay with me. Another few weeks. Nothing. I live right by heaps of bars, on the water, pool, 24hrs security and concierge and - what the fuck? Well, it's because I had no reviews / no rating as a host. (Oh, and I'm a guy writing this - so pull your sweatpants back up if you fancied a woman scribing this tale.)

Finally, I get an email from a very cute girl from Southern France. It was her first trip using AirBnb, and she was nervous about safety, payment, etc. We moved our chat over to facebook, and that seemed to provide a sanity check that had her booking my spare room for $100 per night over five nights. She arrived: Her accent. Her smile. Stunning. I showed her Sydney, and she also did her solo touristy things. On her last night, I treated some drinks on the water, and we got flirty. Drunk. And had great sex. She asked in her adorable French accent / cute English errors: "Why have not we made love on all zee nights?" Well, I didn't want to make a move and have a woman feel uncomfortable in my apartment for days and days, so it was one night only. And? Woosh. She was gone. French lovers are, well - the best. There's no fake-tinder-pornstar-bullshit-fucking - just amazing European passion - the best.

A glowing, positive review from Frenchy absolutely opened the flood gates of guests, and of course I chose wisely - women only (well, I'd say 5/6 were women as I met some cool lads as well to get beers with). There was an Asian American university student from Arizona, there was a business woman from Melbourne (married - different story), there was a stunning blonde Finnish girl (she'd only kiss and let me go down on her / nothing more), and there was an American travel agent who overlapped with a Swedish girl on NYEve where we all went out and got very drunk (girls were kissing at the bar) and a 3some was on, on, on until Swedish ex boyfriend calls and tears began (Swedish girl stayed in the bedroom and listened to us having sex in the next room).

The money was great - I was getting laid on a regular basis while being paid, and it funded the Tinder and Bumble sex dates and then some in between. And then? I received an email from a girl in Hong Kong that works luxury retail. She was going on a trip 100%, but I'm guessing she was "boyfriend shopping" via AirBnb in any city around the world - well, she chose me and booked 7 nights (5 nights, 2 elsewhere then 2 back with me). I was weary, but - she was super cute on facebook. Horny. Sending lingerie photos. I nearly cancelled before incurring any penalties, but it was too close to her trip - "just be a kind host".

Pre-travel flirting was my error. I own that, and I certainly overpromised. She arrived, and she was keen to shag immediately. I was not keen. She was facebook hot but a completely different person upon entry. I couldn't do it. There was anger and tension as she did X, Y, and Z touring Sydney on her own and an uncomfortable "Why won't you fuck me" kind of chat at night.

During the afternoon of Day 2, she came back and said this: "You don't have to fuck me. But I'll give you a blow job any time you want. I love it." Really? "Yes. Really." Well, I didn't think too long, and she gave (with no kissing, no reciprocation) just about the best, wet, hand twisting head job a man can receive and would not budge her head 'til every drop of cum went down her throat. No mess. It. Was. Fantastic.

Next day? Blow job. Afternoon? Another. Next day? No joke - I went for a morning jog on Sydney Harbour, and took my morning dump pre-shower, and when I got back there she was "Ohhhhh you're sweaty, sit down I'll suck you off." Yup. She did. Tallied up there were 5 head jobs in total during her uncomfortable stay.

I got her on Tinder and Bumble, and thank god she met somebody. She didn't come home for a night (nice break - the guy paid for a hotel stay 100 feet from where I live), and the hosting / guest thing just wasn't working, so her last two days to stay with me were refunded. I helped her find a suitable hotel so we could part ways with kindness and smiles. Paid slutty fun sure was fun, but I can't say it ended well - oh well.

There were more guests / more fun times. But like many cities around the world, hotels fought back, and City of Sydney came down on AirBnB hosts - so? It's just Bumble and Tinder for me now.