My husband cheated

I found out my husband was having an affair one month before our first anniversary. He told me it wasn’t a big deal because he just received oral and it was just a form of porn for him. I was furious. I kicked him out and when his mom asked why I told her. She told that I was overreacting because “he didn’t really get his noodle wet.” We went to counseling and did all the things and we were okay for awhile. One day about a year ago we got into an argument and he told me that I was overreacting like I did with that girl. The wave of anger that came over me… Oral sex isn’t a big deal. Fine. It started with me finding random guys at bars and making them cum in my mouth and then going home… My behavior has since escalated- I now fuck random men all the time- I lost count but 40 or so in the last 8 months. I have let my husband fuck me not know some other man’s cum is deep in my pussy. I tell myself it’s because there is no way that he was with that girl for 2 months and all that happened is he received oral but if I am being honest that is not the truth. I enjoy being a slut- I love know that there is cum in my pussy. It’s surprising how many men will fuck you and not being up using a condom. Only 3 did. I refused- only one walked away. I’ve already made myself cum twice this morning but I think I need a fix today 🤣