I've never been insecure about being "bad" in bed, since most of my exes and former FWBs have given me good feedback. If I ever had a bad night, my exes were usually understanding, and were happy to try again after my refractory period was over.

But a few years ago, I discovered something that seems so obvious, it's weird I should have to type it.

If you want to be among the best someone has ever had, the following steps are pretty much foolproof:

1. Make sure you're hydrated with fresh breath.
2. Start with gentle kissing during foreplay, then gradually get more aggressive.
3. Strip her clothes off for her. Don't wait for her to do it herself.
4. Warm her up by kissing her neck, sucking her nipples, and rubbing her clit over her panties
5. When you eat her out, flatten your tongue against the outside of her pussy and move it in circles. You'll never have trouble staying on her clit when your tongue is covering that much area. Start slow and soft and gradually increase the speed and pressure.
6. And here's the most important part. No matter how many times she cums, don't stop. Tell her she can wrap her legs around your head. Constantly praise her, letting her know how sexy she is and how good she tastes. Moan to let her know how much you're enjoying yourself. If she's into it, call her a "good girl."
7. Don't fuck her until she tells you she needs it. If you eat her out long enough, she'll start craving your cock and she'll let you know.
8. If you can blow her mind by making her cum during penetration, that's awesome and she will be thrilled. But even if you fumble this part, she'll still be satisfied from all of the orgasms you gave her with your mouth. (Plus not all women can cum from penetration to begin with.). Bonus points: if you have a vibe, use it on her clit while you fuck her.
9. After you fuck her, offer to eat her out again.
10. Let her sleep like a baby. When the two of you wake up, offer to eat her out again.

By the time you're done, don't be surprised if you hear her say things like "Holy shit," or "I've never cum that much."

Speaking from personal experience, if I can't muster up enough enthusiasm to eat someone out for a super long time, it's usually because I don't feel that much chemistry to begin with. Or I'm just not feeling great for reasons that have nothing to do with her--like I had too much to drink or I'm coming down with a cold. It's probably a sign that I shouldn't be fucking her in the first place.

But if you can muster up enough enthusiasm to devour her pussy like it's your first meal in weeks, the chances that she'll ghost you are pretty much zero. And she's more likely to be generous and submissive with you the next time you fuck.

Of course there are some women who will have trouble orgasming for reasons that have nothing to do with you, and if that happens you should still do your best, but don't take it personally if it doesn't happen for her.