I’m still a virgin. I haven't had sex. Now I’m 18, and broke up with my first boyfriend after 8 months. We tried some things and I told him about how Ihad gone through some traumatic stuff before, which he was very understanding about. But than one time, he was mad at me cause when we both were walking, we saw someone I used to like. So he demanded a bj from me saying its my punishment and it felt so forceful, I had tears in my eyes but I was turned on by this. By the way I took his forceful thursts down my throat, I wouldn't say he forced himself on me cause I was dripping wet..I don’t know what to think of this. Why would I be turned on by something like this after what happened in my past? When he broke up with me, he said that I’m too obedient that I seemed rather like a ‘sex slave’ rather than a gf. Cause I do everything he says. And I have fantasized this thought in my head. now I'm confused and utterly don't know how to get over or embrace this thing that I’m experiencing.