I am a 34-year-old Muslim man who has had various experiences. While there are many experiences that are relevant to our discussions, there are a select few that evoke intense feelings whenever I recall them, particularly those involving Muslim women. As a Muslim man, I have always viewed Muslim women with reverence, seeing them as pure and deserving of respect. Conversely, I held an expectation that non-Muslim women might dress immodestly and engage in sexual acts freely. Consequently, I rarely felt lust towards non-Muslim women with whom I lacked an emotional connection. Traditionally, I found myself lusting after women considered inappropriate, such as teachers, older women, friends' mothers, supervisors, and so forth.

However, as I matured, I began seeking halal methods of dating with the intention of marriage. These experiences introduced me to Muslim women whom I enjoyed spending time with and conversing with, but they also brought about a sexual tension I had never experienced before. The memories of these experiences with Muslim women are the ones that stir the most intense feelings of arousal within me.

One particular instance stands out in my memory: when I was younger, I was conversing with a Muslim girl who showed a keen interest in me. She was deeply pious, dedicated to learning the Quran and its interpretation. This led to us planning a date to attend the RIS (Reviving the Islamic Spirit) conference together. We set a date and time, and I agreed to pick her up from her home for the event. Leading up to this, questions arose, and she asked me if I watched porn and masturbated. Despite feeling uncomfortable, I chose honesty and confessed that I had engaged in those behaviors but assured her that I was committed to avoiding them in the future. I gave her the option to end our interaction if this revelation was a dealbreaker for her. However, she reassured me, stating that there was nothing wrong with experiencing such feelings. It was at this point that the sexual tension began to manifest, and I started to feel arousal.

The day of the conference arrived, and I picked her up from her place. As she entered my car, she exclaimed, “You look very handsome, mashallah.” We exchanged pleasantries and discussed our past week, including work and life. When we arrived, the conference was busier than expected. I started feeling a sense of apprehension that I might encounter someone I knew, which made me act distant. I didn't talk as much and became cautious, putting up my guard. I think my date noticed this, but she was understanding and didn't push. The thought of being on a date and attracting attention or facing unwanted questions made me uncomfortable. I disliked the idea of having such conversations and feeling pressured into a relationship. However, my date gave me the space I needed while still being present.

Suddenly, someone called out my name. I turned around to see a hijabi girl I went to high school with. She greeted me with salaam alaikum, and I responded with wa alaikum salaam. She asked how I was doing, and I replied, "Good, alhamdulillah." Just as I was about to introduce my date, I realized she wasn't there. I chatted with my friend for a few minutes before going in search of my date. I couldn't find her, but she found me, wearing a mischievous expression. She had a devilish smirk and asked, "Who was that?" I casually replied, "Just someone I used to go to school with." She raised her eyebrow slightly and asked, "Someone you used to date or find attractive?" I laughed and said, "No." She mentioned a speaker she was interested in hearing, so we headed to the auditorium before the session started.

As the session began and the lights dimmed, I noticed that the space my date had been giving me suddenly disappeared as she sat intimately close to me. In Muslim culture, such close proximity would be deemed entirely inappropriate for an unmarried couple, especially at an Islamic conference. However, given the dim lighting, I wasn't as concerned about someone seeing us, so I didn't make a fuss about it. Then, she whispered in my ear, "Did you ever have sexual thoughts about that hijabi from your high school?" I was caught so off guard; I never expected such a question. I was somewhat flustered, but I managed a response, "No, never. I never found her attractive, and I would never disrespect a hijabi like that for any reason or for my satisfaction." She smirked and then whispered seductively in my ear, "You can disrespect me like that if it gives you satisfaction, Osman." In that moment, I felt a rush where my heart was beating so hard. I experienced an insurmountable amount of arousal.

At the end of the conference, as we started to head home in my car, we encountered an intense snowstorm. She commented that it was probably the worst one all winter. Then, she asked if she had said something wrong because she noticed I was acting differently. I denied anything was wrong, saying, "No, not at all." Then, she turned to me with her head slightly angled down, looking slightly up at me, and smiled. Afterward, she looked down, smiled again, and said, "Your body is acting different." Despite my efforts to conceal how aroused I was, my jacket had slipped to the side, revealing my true feelings. My heart was pounding intensely at this moment. "It's okay, Osman. It's perfectly natural," she reassured me as she placed her hand on my lap and smiled. The road conditions were so bad that I had to keep my hands on the steering wheel. At least, that's how I tried to justify it to myself.

She said, "Tell me what you are thinking," then began to move her hand repeatedly from my knee to my crotch. I was breaking at this point, and I blurted out, "I want to fuck you so bad, right now." She smiled, "Mmhmm." I looked at her quickly, feeling overwhelmed. "I kept fantasizing about what was underneath your abaya and taking it off," I confessed, my attention momentarily drifting as I slightly veered into another lane on the road. Thankfully, the roads were empty due to the heavy snowfall. "Osman, this is not the safest condition for driving. Let's stop for a moment and wait for the storm to pass," she suggested, starting to unzip my pants. At this point, I wasn't thinking straight, and I had only one thing on my mind.

I turned into the first large, poorly lit parking lot I could find, doing so as quickly as possible while trying to maintain my composure. Coming to a complete stop in a corner, there was a large light overhead of the car. Immediately, we started making out intensely and passionately; she forcefully put her tongue in my mouth. I grabbed the back of her head, feeling the hair she was modestly covering through her hijab. There were barely any moments to stop, but she briefly paused, and we both caught our breath due to the intensity of the moment. "Come to this side," she said. I immediately got out of the car and rushed to the passenger side. She had begun reclining the seat as far as possible, and once it was done, I got into the car.

"Take it off, take off your pants and everything," she demanded. I did as told, and she saw my erection, jerking it a bit before starting to remove her pants and panties that she was wearing underneath her abaya. "Stay hard, baby," she instructed. She then straddled on top of me, with her abaya and hijab still on, attempting to put my penis inside her. She was super tight, and then she spit aggressively on my penis. Forcing it inside, after a few motions up and down, she started to speed up, saying, "Fuck me, babe." At this point, I was solely focused on getting as much pleasure as possible. I started to become aggressive, thrusting harder into her. "This is what you want, this is what you fucking want!... Here it is! Come and get it!" I exclaimed.

She looked at me with a face that one might mistake for agony, "I want to cum tonight!" We were going at it so hard that the windows began to fog up until the snow covered the majority of the car. Underneath, this pure white shape in the lot inside of the car because of the cold and the condensation, we saw each other's hard breaths as we fucked harder. Then she demanded, "Cum inside me." At that point, my logic came back slightly, and I did not want to risk getting someone pregnant. I started to attempt to dissuade her rationally, while she continued to ride me hard. "I can't, what if I make you pregnant?" I questioned.

She looked at me in deep need, "Osman, don't worry, I will take a Plan B." My logical mind was slightly more satisfied, but I wondered when and how. "Just cum inside of me! I need to feel it inside! I promise we will go to the 24-hour pharmacy right after, and I will take it in front of you." At this point, I was satisfied enough to start thrusting my penis deep inside of her again. "You promise?! YOU PROMISE?!" We both moaned in pleasure, then I started to feel my body squirm and my muscles contract as I came inside her; she was so pleased. "I said I wanted more," she said, and I started getting so intense, "I WANT MORE!" We continued to have sex until I came a total of three times inside her.

When we were done, she cleaned my dick, and we put our clothes back on. We stopped by a pharmacy, and as promised, she took the Plan B pill in front of me.