To make a long story short...my husband cheated on me with a coworker of his a few years ago. I forgave him and we moved on. The coworker left that job so they no longer work together...anyway I've just never fully gotten over it no matter what I try (including therapy). Ever since it happened I've just felt so much less attracted to him. To make it worse, it seems like he doesn't care that much, which just makes me think he's probably cheating again. We got married young and he's the only guy l've ever been with. Lately l've just felt like I've missed out on so many sexual things/fantasies that I can't stop thinking about it. I recently got on here to just join some fantasy subreddits and see what's out there. Now l've just been obsessing over the idea of being with another guy. I've been messaging a few really attractive and hung guys, and even added a few on other social media sites and video chatted with one🙈….I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to having the guts to actually do it. I'm a hot mess 😭