I was the secret affair of a man. He‘s a manager and I first got to know him during an internship, later he was an interview partner for one of my scientific essays. As a student I mainly did it for the money. He was good looking for his age but I usually wouldn’t date someone like him. He paid me so I wouldn’t tell anyone and it was good money, I also got clothes every here and then or other things. He was married back then (and still is as far as I know).

It started with meetings in hotels, went to a little more variety of places and at the end I also went on trips with him. I kind of became an escort for him, whenever he‘d have meetings somewhere far away from here he‘d ask me to join him as his assistant.

I didn‘t see him daily or anything and besides this I lived my normal student life. At some point I got closer with a guy and we started having a relationship. I obviously wanted to end the affair, but the money was really helpful and when I told him about my boyfriend he just tricked me into believing it would be ok to keep it going secretly. He even enjoyed it, knowing that there was someone else in my life. He bought me clothes more often, telling me to show them to my boyfriend saying I would have bought them for him. Obviously the first to see me in them was this manager. And also he was the first one to get them off of me. The worst thing I did was showing my boyfriend „my new self bought lingerie only for his eyes“ in which I was fucked only a few hours ago by another man. I also had to send him photos every here and then, which led to me making some hot photos for someone else in the bathroom of the restaurant I just was invited to by my boyfriend. During this time I thought it was right to do that. I was told so. When I finally realized it wasn‘t, I ended the secret affair. I never told my boyfriend about it for obvious reasons. I thought I would be more happy without the guilt of betraying my boyfriend. But part of me just wishes to travel back in time, enjoying the double life I lived. Not ending the affair. It was fun to travel around, to sneak into hotels, to have this secret thing going on nobody should ever hear about. Part of me really wants it back. And I feel bad for this, but I can‘t help myself.