My childhood bestie is in a relationship for nearly two years now. Her boyfriend is a guy that I already made out with long before they started dating. It didn’t happen more for different reasons but I really think he‘s hot and I know he likes me too.

When they started dating I was totally fine with it because I was in a relationship as well at that point. But it changed after my breakup when it stopped that we spent our time together as couples because I was alone and didn’t want to be the third wheel. I was way more alone and obviously started looking for other men now. And I still liked my bestie’s boyfriend (I‘ll call him Kyle for now). Usually I can suppress feelings like this and just accept that he‘s happy with my bestie. And I could feel happy for them. But at one day when we went out clubbing I felt different.

On this day I planned to get to know someone. So I dressed a little more flirty. Mini skirt, tight top with some cleavage, nicely done hair and makeup, heels. Good perfume. I just felt really good that day. We met at a friend’s place for pre drinking. There were 3 male friends, my bestie and her boyfriend and me. And we played a game: „I never have…“ I guess you know what I mean. It came to the point at which one of the guys said „I never kissed a friend of a friend“. Funny thing is nobody of them including my bestie knew about me and Kyle since it wasn’t anything special. I instantly thought about it and without a doubt started drinking. I looked at Kyle and he was nervously looking at me, kind of as he wanted to tell me „Please don’t tell anyone“.

I was obviously asked who it was and I decided to tell the truth. And the other guys were celebrating it and asked more and more questions about it. Then they asked Kyle who was better, me or my bestie. Of course they were just asking as a joke but it kind of hurt me when he said my bestie (I knew he had to say it but it still hurt).

So at that moment I kind of decided that the guy I wanted this evening was Kyle. I wanted to prove who really is better, and I wanted to make him say that it was me. I drank a little more that night and in the club I started flirting a little, subconsciously. Only so much that I could always say it was a joke. But it wasn’t. And he didn‘t really block it. And I cought him looking at me that night a few times. And so I knew I was right.

It didn’t happen anything that night, but I started to get more and more flirty with him whenever I saw him. Until the day my bestie told me about them having an argument. She told me about how they have a hard time and how he‘s an asshole towards her. And of course I told her I would help her and always be on her side. Well, bad for her that my help was taking advantage of the situation and meeting Kyle. And when we met, I told him the truth. Everything I thought about him and how bad I want him. I gave him the power to destroy my friendship with my bestie. But I got what I wanted. It was the first time we had sex. Really good sex. So good that I wanted more. And he wanted more as well. So we made a plan to meet more often. I told him he couldn’t end the relationship since I had to block him out of life as well then. And so we made up that he had to continue the relationship. He had to apologize to my bestie. And we would meet whenever she was out. For her study, sport or anything. Just whenever it‘d fit.

For now we secretly met about 50 times. And it‘s still going on. I feel bad for my bestie and I know it‘s wrong. But I can’t help myself. I can‘t deny that it‘s one of the best feelings I ever had. I just have to tell someone about it but can’t do it to anyone I know, so I landed here. Call me whatever you want. I know I‘m a bad person. But I enjoy every moment with my bestie’s boyfriend!