I stupidly went for my last Brazilian while I was at peak ovulation, so I'm already a half-feral ball of hormones with a brain and body laser-focused on one thing only: my needy, aching, dripping cunt. When I tell you I was wet, that's like saying the ocean is a little wet. This was like a steady ooze of that clear, stretchy, super slippery ovulation slime. I almost left, but I didn't want to have to reschedule so I told myself it would be fine, I'd use an extra wipe beforehand and when she added the powder no one would even notice.

Oh I was wrong.

I wasn't fine, and she definitely noticed.

I failed to account for the waxer being an actual goddess with a face from a Renaissance painting and the biggest, roundest pair of beautiful bouncy natural tits I've ever seen in my entire life. Like...I have the kind of tits that make people go "whoa, those are big tits", and I was stunned speechless by the size of this woman's breasts. My mouth is watering just thinking about them.

So we start the wax, I'm trying to keep it cool, and it didn't work because 2 minutes in I literally splooshed in this woman's hand and she had to wipe me up before she could continue. If that's not bad enough, she made a cute little "oh!" sound, like it was so amusing to her, and she LOOKED ME IN THE EYE and smiled while she was cleaning me up.

After she was done and left me to get dressed I obviously couldn't stop myself from rubbing one out on her table before actually thinking about what I was doing, and only after I was done did I realize that there are probably cameras in the treatment rooms.

I did my little walk of shame and of course the receptionist was at lunch so my big titty angel was the one to take my payment at the desk on my way out, because clearly god has favorites and they are not me. I left her a very generous tip and as I was leaving she said "make sure you COME back in 3 weeks, ok babe?" I couldn't even make my stupid slutty mouth say any words so I just nodded and stumbled out to my car.

This was 2 weeks ago and I can't decide if I need to find a different salon, in a different town, or maybe even another state... or if I think I can stomach the embarrassment of seeing her again because on top of being the most gorgeous creature on earth, she gave me the smoothest, closest wax I've ever had. FML.