Don’t know how to feel about this.

I recently got out of a toxic relationship. Last weekend I went out with my friends and a small group of us ended up back at my guy friends place for an after party. I had a lot to drink and after everyone left it was just me and my guy friend. It was pretty late and he was showing me pictures from a photoshoot he did that day (he’s a photographer). They were good photos and I drunkenly suggested he do a photoshoot with me. Well, we started messing around with his camera and me being his model. We done some close ups and he said my eyes look really cool on his camera. And then, out of nowhere, I just said “I bet they’d look even better looking up at you” and because we were both super drunk I ended up giving him a blowjob. I feel ashamed because it turned me on and I can’t see him as a “friend” anymore