I'm (M33) engaged to a woman. I've been with her for 3 years, engaged for 1, and I love her deeply. She's everything I want in a partner, beautiful, caring, hard working, and hot.

In the past I've been with a guy. In college I had a male FWB for about 5 months, and then 7 years ago him and I reconnected and hooked up. I've hooked up with a few other guys in the past, but it's mostly been one night stands or just short term. I've solely had relationships with women.

I work out with this guy "J." J is 10 years younger than me, and he's hot. He's very flirtatious with me and he's made many advances on me, and I'm getting weak. We've seen each other naked many times, and yes, I like what I see. He knows I want him. He and I sext a lot, and we send each other nudes, and sometimes have phone sex. He tells me he thinks about me a lot, and one night I asked him to prove it. He sent me a video of himself jerking off and moaning my name, loud.

After our workouts, he's invited me back to his place many times. I always come up with an excuse why I can't go, because I know if I go to his place, I'll fuck him.

2 weeks ago, I slipped up with him, badly. He asked me to meet him for lunch, and as we were getting ready to leave, he again invited me to his place. I said no, but told him we could go back to my car for a bit. Things got a little steamy - we made out, and this time I jerked him off. I felt his cock growing in my hand, and as he started to cum, I let him finish in my mouth. I kept sucking on him and enjoyed it. We went back to making out and he took my shirt off and kissed and licked my chest and abs. He took my pants off and went down on me in my car. I was surprised I lasted more than a minute. He swallowed and told me how great I tasted. We were both naked, in my car, making out, stroking each other, and I went down on him again. I loved making him cum, twice. He told me to come home with him, and I used whatever willpower I had left, to say no.

He's got this control over me. When we were together after a workout, as he was coming out of the shower, he told me to give him head, so I pulled him into a shower stall and took care of him. I want to please him.

Over the weekend, after our workout, since the gym was pretty dead, on account of the holiday weekend, he asked me to shower with him, and I did. It felt a lot more intimate this time. We were making out under the warm shower and touching each other all over. He guided his hands to his hard cock, and told me to take care of him, so I gave him a blowjob, and we went back to making out and just touching each other all over.

He asked me to come home with him, so I followed him home. As we got to his house, he led me to his bedroom. We made out some more, and he told me to go down on him again, and I obliged. I felt so hot making him cum again. He stripped me down and turned me over. He made a move to fuck me, and I told him "not yet," so he started kissing me, and trailed down my chest and abs, and gave me a blowjob. God he was so good at it. He told me he's been thinking of me ever since he met me, and how he's never wanted someone as much as me. Fuck, I'm in trouble.

As I got up to leave, he said "we'll continue this soon," and I replied "yes." I feel guilty for cheating on my fiance, but I also have been craving dick for so long. J has invited me to come over tonight after work, and I said I will. I promised myself I will only give him head and some foreplay, but I know that's a lie. He has full control over me now, and I'm going to fuck him. God, I'm so weak for him.