I don’t want this to turn into a multi-paragraph story (and bore the reader) but I hope I do it justice shortening it.

As some may remember (my old story was taken down due to age at the time of the event) I grew up highly religious, small city and even smaller town. When I turned 18 and got accepted to University, I was thrilled to be going out and experiencing new things. Of course I was scared but dorms, sorority and cafeteria w/ a great meal plan, I felt good. The university was about 800 miles away so far enough away but close enough to fly if needed.

A few months into the semester I met a boy, a few years older and I was so in love. I often call him my college sweetheart ex because we dated my entire undergrad. I honestly thought it was marriage and I was beyond excited that even though I had a past that wasn’t great, I was still able to lose my virginity to my future husband (or so I thought).

Fast forward 4 (ish) years (I needed an additional semester to walk) he had a close group of friends that I thought were my friends too. Early years of college we all lived together and it was never weird. They had their girls, relationships and fun. Well one winter semester evening we all went out and enjoyed the bars/dancing. No pun intended but they were on a cold streak, not able to really have a girl that entire evening. As it got late we went back to our place (at this time they didn’t live in the same place but near). We smoked some weed and drank a little more into the night.

Apologies if this is getting long but in short, my ex college sweetheart shared me with his friends. I thought it was a one night thing, just spontaneous and fun. Well, the sharing didn’t stop that night and it happened for the rest of the semester. It started off as group only and on the weekends mostly but it turned into individual sessions. Honestly, maybe it’s my fault but I enjoyed it. I also enjoyed it because I wanted to make my man happy. I thought he wanted to me see like this. I often asked him was this what he intended and he never gave me a straight answer. Ultimately, before the new years, we had broken up. I was devastated and still am. I truly believe he lost control and couldn’t ring it back. I think as all men do (from what I’ve been told) it’s always awesome to think about your woman as a pornstar but when it happens and it happens repeatedly things change. To my knowledge they’re all still friends. How close I don’t know but…

”When you see your potential fiancé take a load to the face and you have post nut clarity” - things just don’t seem as fun.