The La st few months have been hard. My best friend and partner left me after a year of long-distance. We met in Tucson, but I had to move back to the LA area.

She ghosted me and then called me out of the blue to tell me things are over.

A mutual friend has been regularly calling me from Arizona to make sure I’m ok. I’ve gotten drunk and hit on her before. She was a mutual friend of my partner and I. When I was down on my luck, she helped me on my feet by making sure I was eating. Now we just call and text. She reads my sad poetry and my drunk texts.

She’s bisexual and into girls (same with my-ex, I guess I have a type). She’s smaller than me, but she has firm tits and abs, which I like. Along with a nice plump ass.

She’s also one of those artsy, hippie, sjw types and dresses like one. We’d often spend hours just playing card games over and over.

My libido (which was already confused due to the long distance thing) needs help and I want to both the emotional and physical connection a sexual relationship brings.

I couldn’t get anyone to sleep with me. I’m too shy and the dating apps aren’t the best for me.

But I’m having dreams of fucking my buddy against the wall or waking up to her in my arms and bed. The fact that she’s attractive and a friend makes things even more tempting. I have dreams and fantasies of her grabbing me and kissing me before taking me to bed where she’d ride me after lifting up her skirt. I’d also finally be able to see and hold her boobs for the first time.

I want the physical satisfaction of sex and the emotional satisfaction of feeling safe and content in someone’s arms and cuddled.

But I also have fantasies of screwing a girl while having her eat my friend out and then switching positions. Me and my ex would always joke about doing a threesome (apparently she’d planed one for us at one point). While my friend and I would talk about girls we’d fantasize about and who we had crushes on like we were in a junior high locker room.

I guess I gotta go back to bed now, alone, unsatisfied, and sad…