The same thing that happens to all "corn-fed" Nebraskan girls like me. Some of us are obviously hot in high school, getting attention from all the cutest boys. Someone has to be. You'd start dating the guy you think is the one. But then it happens. One day you realize you have a belly. Your ass isn’t quite as cute in those booty shorts. Your perky tits aren’t so perky anymore. And what do you do when you start to feel bad about it? Have another fucking milkshake. Like me. That’s sure to improve your life.

If you stick with him long enough and he's anything like my boyfriend, he'll be losing interest because he’s been around since your cute days. He’s seen you at your best, and he knows this isn’t it. He’s not attracted anymore, and who can blame him? But then again, he wasn't looking so in shape either. And that's a lot of beer. Maybe you're thinking you should take some of it off his hands? Careful, that's not the reflection of your mother you just caught in the window. You're just starting to look like her. One day I'll move somewhere, a proper city. Until then, I'm just making do. Maybe I'll finally hold down a job sooner rather than later... Unless of course I've gotten pregnant. A guy who can ascertain all my insecurities is hot. I've hinted at that plenty. I looove men who are super into me, but don't mind bringing a critical gaze and wanna tease me about it.