There’s been a lot going on my mind. It’s been good and bad but mostly naughty. Growing up I’ve been a good person. Sure I had my temptations and throughts of straying away from the “Christian” mentality but never gone above and beyond that. Lately my minds been a mess. My thoughts have been really bad. I am to the point where I wanna find a naughty women to have naughty fun. Meet up, fuck, and go back to normal life but also meet up again. But then I get this feeling that no one wants or will desire me. I got a dad bod with salt and pepper hair.. I mean who wants someone like that? I don’t got the bod for it anyway. Then all of a sudden my mind changes to I wanna be naughty and want to be corrupted but then I wanna find a married women and corrupt her too. Make her a slut like she never was before. My mind is just all of the place. I don’t know why I can’t stop, I don’t know why this lust drives me down even more. I know as a married man it is wrong and I know I should be stoned for it but my mind is losing it.. I thought when I deleted all the apps I could be ok but that lust drew me right back. Ugh I am just a mess.