this happened around two or so years ago, and i’ve only told two people online about it, but now that a lot of time has passed i can look back and laugh instead of getting nervous!

i’m bi and i’m not a big party-goer. introverted and quiet, stuck inside in his own little world, i’m sure you know the type. i had just recently moved out a few months prior, and i wanted to start getting outside of my comfort zone and decided to go to a gay bar just to see what it was like! i’m right outside of Philadelphia, so i had plenty of choices for a venue.

i got dressed up in my favorite black skinny jeans and white hoodie. it wasn’t too crazy, but my ass was definitely visible enough to be interesting. i put on my smallest chastity cage i had: some cheap flat knockoff one from China. i didn’t want there to be a massive bulge in my pants, cause that’s not where i wanted a guys focus to be; that was supposed on the other side.

i waited until around 12 in the morning to head over. i wanted there to be as little people on the road as possible, since driving generally makes me nervous (like a lot of things do). that was miscalculation number one in a long line of miscalculations.

first of all, it’s Philadelphia. a city. there’s always traffic and maniacs on the road. i was basically tailgated the entire way to the parking garage. crazy people passing me going 90 in a 40, slow people going 20 in a 40, it was nuts.

i finally pull up to my parking garage, and remember my choice of outfit? a simple hoodie and skinny jeans? yeah, that’s another mistake right there. it was winter and a cold front had just come through. it was only around 5 degrees out with a bone-chilling wind that just wouldn’t stop. i didn’t think it would be an issue-i’d just walk down the street to the bar and get inside, no problem. yes problem: there was a line of like fifty people in front of me!! it was ridiculous. i really should’ve known better and just packed another jacket.

so, i’m sitting in this line for what seems like an eternity, freezing my ass off and practically getting my cage ring iced to my thighs surrounded by a group of people talking about all sorts of wild stuff that makes me more nervous than i already am. the line finally starts moving and, before i know it, i’m next. i see them carding people at the front-duh, it’s a bar, obviously they’re gonna do that, so i get my ID ready, thankful that i even have it given my lack of planning.

there’s only one person in front of me by the time i get it out. when i look up, my heart just tanks: these two fucking bouncers up front have metal detector wands. by this point, i’m already a wreck just standing there in line, trying to keep calm, but the sight of those things just ended it. i put my ID away, got out of line, and pretended to be on my phone and walked back to the parking garage, got in my vehicle, and drove home.

i felt pretty bad and embarrassed about it all. the fact that i even went in the first place was a lot to take in, but then throw in arctic winds, sketchy driving and a metal detector that would make me sound like a bomb was stuffed down in my pants? wow. that night did not go well for me.

looking back, it’s funny and utterly ridiculous. shy boy gets out of comfort zone and goes to a gay bar with a chastity cage only to almost set off a metal detector. stupid, dumb, but hilarious! i’ll probably never let myself live that one down!

i’m not the best writer, and i know this isn’t too crazy, but hopefully you find my experience entertaining! if i ever go back, i’ll be wearing a plastic cage, i can promise you that!