I'm from a small rural town and a year of so ago I started talking innocently to one of my husband's friends at work he was into fitness and I do admit I was and am I big gal. I was looking for advice and tips and that turned into him coming over to meet me and talk about goals. Long story short t hat first meeting ended with a hug and a sudden kiss that I'll admit left me surprised. I had never been unfaithful to my husband but impulse took over and soon I was snapping this man daily. That evolved into a full blown relationship where he worked 2nd shift and my husband worked 3rd shift at the same job so he would get off at 3am and cone to our house and have sex with me and my husband wouldn't be off til 7am. Alot of times he would leave til 5 or 6 am well soon after my husband was diagnosed with cancer and it was very rapid. The affair didn't stop my husband became bed ridden and I'm ashamed to say I was having sex with his friend in the next room. After he passed away we still saw eachother but broke it off at the start of this year. I still want him to this day and I feel so bad about that because of my husband and what happened.