My girlfriend and I have been together for a few years and over time things have gotten pretty boring in the bedroom. I'm all for taking accountability but I truly believe 90% of that is my gfs fault. I still try to have sex with her consistently and she turns me down most of the time because she's either tired or just not horny.

She said this is normal behaviour in long term relationships and its nothing to do with me, she just doesn't desire sex as much anymore. I do understand her perspective but I also feel like my needs should be met, why do I need to be sexually frustrated because she doesn't have the same desire for sex as I do? This is the attitude I had at first and I just let the frustration build up and we started having a lot of arguments which were probably my fault.

I knew something had to change but I didn't want to break up with someone I love just because I'm not having enough sex, so I started masturbatjng like I did when I was single, but after having a gf for years I just found vanilla porn boring, but what really got me going was cheating porn. But then I knew they were just actors so I went hunting for real cheating sex tapes, and they kept me going for a while. And then one night much like tonight, I found myself bored on my phone at night and I made a reddit post. My hands were literally shaking when I made my first post because I felt like I was betraying my gf. Then I got a message from a girl in the UK but not that close to where I live. We got chatting and she said she loved pleasing taken men, my sexting was terrible at first but we really got into it after a while. Lets just say after about 3 hours of sexting and a bunch of nudes I blew the biggest load I have ever blown to date. I had never cum so hard before and it felt amazing, I knew I had to do it again