This is how I went from vanilla missionary girl to having aspirations of being the biggest slut I can be.

A couple of months ago, I was at a friend's birthday party and talking to another close friend of mine. We're really close and she must have felt extra comfortable, being so drunk. She started talking about how great the sex she'd been having was. She looked me dead in the eyes and whispered "It's just got so good after we started trying cnc". Of course I had no idea what that was, so I asked, and she put her mouth to my ear and gave me a description of consensual non-consent. I was a little alarmed at first, but she told me it was fantastic, that she'd never cum so many times before, and it was so much better than just being tied up- something I also didn't know much about before this conversation. I thought it sounded pretty awful, but my curiosity was definitely piqued.

I got back home pretty late and my boyfriend was already asleep, having not gone. I drunkenly sat on my phone in the living room and started looking up cnc stuff. I found the reddit subthread and couldn't believe what I saw. This rough, brutal, animal-esque sex was unlike anything I'd ever had. I very, very rarely masturbated back then but I found my hand had slipped under my panties and I was already wet. I stayed up for nearly an hour, I think, just playing with myself and browsing kink subreddits- I opened Pandora's box that night.

The next morning when I woke up, I slid my leg over my boyfriend's body and made out with him while grinding my pussy against him- he got instantly hard and flipped me over- I was so excited. After a little bit of playing around he entered me, and I looked him in the eye, and thinking it would be good to ease into something spicier, I asked him if he could be a little rougher with me today. He agreed enthusically, but... It didn't feel any different- I don't think he even knew how to be rough. Eventually after, to be honest, getting a bit bored, I gently asked "Would you choke me a little..?" He suddenly stopped and got off me and looked pretty angry. I panicked and asked what was wrong, and he didn't really give an answer and just got up to go shower. Tbh I was kind of in a daze both from going from sex to nothing and his reaction.

He left for work soon after and didn't reply to any texts- I was having a bit of a meltdown because of it. I had no idea why he'd reacted so strongly until he finally got home that night and said he'd got his thoughts straight. The conversation after was a blur but essentially he told me he did not see himself marrying a depraved slut that was into that kind of thing, and if we were to work as a couple I was to never bring that kind of thing up again. He was never overtly religious but I can only think this must have been because of a more religious background. I think new kinds of sex might have scared him, he always was so proud of himself for cumming in me missionary when we did it like, once a month. And I didn't know it could get better at that point.

Me being the person I am, I instantly apologised profusely and agreed to never bring it up. But even just that night, lying next to him snoring, I started wondering whether this is what I wanted. A couple nights later, I got home late after some drinks with friends and sat on the sofa and masturbated all night to stuff on reddit again, while he slept. And the morning after, I knew I couldn't continue on like this. I started really reflecting on how misogynistic he had been when he told me he couldn't marry a slut, and how repressed I was feeling after just a week or so. I couldn't survive a life of that. I instantly saw a timeline where I stayed with him and ended up cheating to get my fill, and I didn't want to be that person.

So, the day after, a 6 year relationship ended. I helped him move back into his parent's place which was close, and then that evening I spent hours just browsing porn and reddit threads, finding out new things that turned me on more than I'd ever felt before. My clit was genuinely sore in the morning but I couldn't stop, the day after the breakup I messaged someone on an RP reddit and found even more kinks. The list is still growing and in the last week I decided to fully embrace the online slut life, making 3 or 4 men cum a day through chats (no pics ever, sorry!!). I haven't gathered the courage to do anything irl yet, but I'm really tempted to get drunk at a club and let some hot men have their way with me (this happened exactly once when I was at uni, it would be a story for another time except I genuinely don't remember any of it, oops!)