I had a period in my life where I did cheat and slept around a lot. As far as guys I've initiated with, it's 15 or less, and I didn't sleep with all of them, though something sexual occured. When you take into account the guys who took advantage of me or the situation I put myself in, its upwards of 40 total guys. I don't actually know or remember how many there were. Between being shared, drugged up, or drunken stuppers. There were memorable moments, memorable guys, and some body features that I remember vividly. I remember some specific events and feelings.

My husband accepts me for who I am with what I did behind his back. I've let most things out and confessed most of what I remember. Had Tinder been a thing back when I was cheating, my count likely would've been much higher. I was out to have fun. There are things that I recall that I tell him. He'd like details sometimes but most times he says he doesn't need to know. I've had much bigger and I've had smaller than my husband. Its not all about the size but it does help the situation. Including my husband, I've had some amazing lovers that weren't huge. I'm curious what it is about my past that gets people going so bad. Why do people like to hear the details of my life when I was a lost soul?

If I were to sit here and say that I didn't like the sex, that'd be a lie. I love sex. I did enjoy the hiding and the thrill of getting away with it. I have stories of my time with other men that I could share, but some of it hurts to write about. I guess it hurts in some respects because I didn't want to in some cases, maybe that I was taken advantage of. And other times it hurts because of the pain that I caused. Hubby says I have a craving that he can never fill. There are times I wish there was more but I am happy with him.