The CPAP was one of the worst things I've ever experienced.

I(M) have been an incredibly tired person my entire life at every weight. I've always badly snored. I fall asleep everywhere and frequently: during nearly every class I had in a day, while driving, in movie theaters, while eating, you name it. It got so bad that at one point in my life I was 100% certain I would die while driving as I would fall asleep nearly every time I was behind the wheel. I haven't seen more than 20 minutes of a movie in a theater in years. I have terrible depression and anxiety that may or may not be from sleep issues; they've been around as long as I remember.

Then I was diagnosed with OSA at ~21 years old with >50 events/hr. I was so so excited to get a CPAP and have my life turn around!

I used the machine for just about a year and my quality of life absolutely tanked and not one night did I sleep any better. You'd think waking up in the wrong lane a few times would be the low point. It just got worse along with my mental health. I lost the ability to work at my job. I stopped driving because I don't want to kill someone. I've tried so many masks, I've tried different doctors, I've tried different settings, I've tried accessories and more.

My doctors said it would take many more surgeries to maybe fix it. I've had one already to fix a deviated septum. Inspire is terrifying to me but either way my family won't support me getting it. I recently found out about the dental devices and am going to try them. But my teeth are already sensitive and I've had corrective procedures on my jaw in the past, unrelated though. It seems like there aren't any options.

I'd rather just be sleepy and sad and die than continue my journey.

Words of encouragement would help. Understanding too. I get that fixing it would probably help put my life back together but I've just given up. Also, I might be a little emotional because I've been crying about this for awhile but this is a pretty normal feeling for me.