Everytime I think I'm making progress on not picking, I end up screwing it all up. I can't stop the compulsion. Everytime, I go in the restroom I always end up checking the mirror or checking my shoulders or chest. I just can't help myself. Just when I may be able to pick the even off with mostly healed skin to where it won't even up when I remove the scab.

But then I see the tiny white plugs under the skin and I try to use my nail to pull it out with out damaging the skin. Then when that doesn't work I use the corner of the nail clippers to try and get it. And last but not last, I use my sibling's blackhead removal tool and just give in to the urge. Then of course, I have regret but satisfaction afterwards.

Why does it have to be so satisfying? I love hearing the little pop when removing the little white plugs and seeing the very small holes left behind. It's probably one of my favorite things that I so when picking at my skin. But, I just wanna stop liking doing this. And its not even that I like it, its just ao satisfying to me. Like I'm having the hardest time not messing with a specific scab that very much neede to heal up and I wanna rip it off so damn bad.

Im supposed to see a counselor soon but am nor sure if she'll be able to help me out with this compulsion. Also would anyone be down to be accountability buddies? Never tried it before but might as well yk^{^} Need to talk with people who have the same struggles as me