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When I was younger I was convinced I could make myself a real girl by modifying my hormone system naturally. I thought if I destroyed or ‘popped’ my balls. They would stop making T. So as a teenager I would force myself to brutally squeeze my testic- Sorry (Cherries) every night - I was convinced it would permenantlt break them so they could no longer produce T and would produce E instead
Like a DIY/ holistic ‘puberty blocker’ or hormone replacement therapy
it was really painful to do that every night - I literally threw up from the pain so many times - the pain would stick to the next few days - a deep ache In my groin and abdomen- it made me lose appetite snd barely eat - I became a shell of myself - always soo tired and skinny and dazed and I failed most my exams - I literally was ruining my self and my life but I would force myself it do it by imagining the contrast between me as a soft tiny smooth sissy and my big handsome hairy manly Man
Eventually I think I basically castrated myself - my clit would not get hard for years and then it started to get a little hard sometimes but not the same.
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