Im sorry for reposting, sadly i had to Delete all my posts cause someone tried to blackmail me and i was super scared, but im back and still looking for advice ;3
Hello and thank you for reading this.

I'm male, nearly 26 years old, and I truly hate myself for my actions, laziness, and wasted potential.

I want to change myself, and one big problem is my addiction. I do have some addictions, like alcohol or weed consumption, and I’m trying to lower my use. One of my addictions is sissy porn and the act of sissification. In the past, I had a girlfriend. We were together for 5 years, and in the last 2 years of the relationship, I discovered sissy porn. I wish I had never discovered it. I loved the hypnosis and the submissive feeling, never thinking it would mess up my brain so much. I even did videos or pics from me in girly and super subby taking dildos and plug...

It has now been 4 years since I started consuming sissy porn. I want to stop it, get rid of porn and all the sissy stuff. I feel miserable and depressed. I have a friends-with-benefits situation right now, and I can't even have sex. I can only finger her or use toys, but my dick goes soft if I try to have sex. Yesterday I fucked my ass 4 times in a row and had 4 orgasms. I’ve started jerking off only to sissy porn or even gay porn, only looking at dicks or dreaming about it. I really don't want this anymore and want a healthy life again. I'm a mess right now and don't have the discipline to stop. I really want to stop and crave pussy, to fuck hard again. In the past, with my ex, I loved sex. I fucked so hard, I was the ultimate dom in bed. But now I feel like a little worm.

Please help or advise.