So I'm fairly new to all of this, I've been experimenting with anal play and I have a collection of toys. My wife knows about the toys and the anal play that I've been doing solo. As of right now she has never really been into it, or rather the connection just isn't there when she wears the strapon. I don't want any confusion, I love my wife we've been together for 5 years and we are expecting our first child. The issue I'm having Is that this side of me YEARNS to be seen, to wear my cage and my plug in public, to dress girly and full dive into being a sissy slut. That would destroy my life, my marriage would be over and my family would most likely never talk to me again. I know this because my sister is Trans and they barely talk to her anymore (it's complicated and nuanced so I'll spare the details.) So to sum it all up, I have two sides of me, one that wants to be a masculine and responsible father and husband, and a little sissy bitch who wants to suck cock and get fucked in the ass by huge dildos, and they can't both exist simultaneously. So how do I tone back the sissy urges, or how do I let go of the life I've spent so much time building?