I really wish I was a sexy girl.

(Sorry if this is the wrong place for this rant. Feel free to ignore it. I don't wanna get in the way of anyone enjoying themselves on this sub. Also, don't worry too much, I'm fine as is. No immediate, worrying issues with being who I am rn (at least around gender), I just wanna vent a lil)

I'm probably gonna feel different later, when I wake up tomorrow, but fuck. Seeing all the sexy women on Reddit just makes me envious enough to scream. I want to be a sexy slut with a bf who treats me like a princess and a whore (respectfully).

I wish I had big boobs and could rock a bikini on the beach. I wanna dress up in leggings or yoga pants and be hot 24/7. I wanna be seen as sexy (respectfully) and cute and petite and style my hair and experiment with make up and wear dark red nail polish all without worrying about judgement.

I don't exactly wanna be trans, cause that'd cause complications in my life and I'm already struggling to start a career and near finishing uni and I don't need anything else getting in the way. Plus, my current bf is gay and I love him very much and don't wanna loose anything with him, but even then he isn't comfortable with anything too sexual. We'll jerk each other off a bit, maybe frot, but it doesn't feel like there's any sexual spark rn and I miss that. Part of issue is the constant of roommates and landlords and that we're both bottoms 😅 (well, I'm a switch who prefers bottoming).

Anyways, it's 1:22am and I wanna try and wake up around 8:30am instead of sleeping until noon. My sleep schedule is borked, but that's another story. Like I said, I'll probably feel differently later, but, god, I wanna be a good, attractive woman, instead of feeling like a big fugly fetishy man in drag 😢