I know this isn’t exactly what this community is used for but I need to hear it from someone who actually has kids. I basically raised my two younger sisters and I couldn’t imagine putting them through what my dads done to me.

My mother had many issues and was slow she still had custody of me and my sister for most of our lives. But my dad never stopped fighting for us. It confused me because he has other kids out there who he’s already abandoned. My very first memory is me dad beating my mother and it happened more times then I can count. My mom always told me I would be next if I moved in with him but I never listened to her. My father has always shown signs of having narcissistic personality disorder and he’s done a lot of horrible things to me. He only left a bruise on me once from pushing me over in a fit of rage. Other then that and spanking me with a belt he didn’t hit me. He didn’t allow me to ever lock doors or even close them at times even if I was getting dressed or showering and he’d let his girlfriend go into the room I was in while I was doing those things. He made fun of me for self harming. He got mad at me and blamed me for when his girlfriend left me on the side of the road with no phone and no idea how to get home. He’s caused me to have PTSD and multiple eating disorders. Even something as little as the sound of a garage opening sets me off sometimes. But still when I was a kid I made some good memories with him. He took me to fairs and bought me lots of toys. I can’t tell anymore if it was because he wanted me to be quiet around CPS or if he really cared for me. I’m still a minor but I’m living with different family now. I don’t have contact with him and he didn’t bother trying to get ahold of me on my birthday or any holidays in the past year. I definitely don’t want a relationship with him anytime soon maybe never but I still need an outsiders opinion. Is it possible an abusive parent loved their kid?