Being a single parent is hard.

Being a single parent in the military is a whole new level of hell.

I'm in the reserves, so I have to balance my civilian employer with my military career. During normal times, I have very reliable childcare while I am at work. When I am gone on my drill weekends, or on extended orders, it's hell.

My last spring I was using a friend and her mother to watch my 8 year old daughter while I was gone on military orders. I was gone for almost 3 weeks overseas. I paid her $500 ahead of time. Halfway through my leave, my friend takes my daughter to my grandparents house (who are in their 70's and do not interact with my daughter much), because they could not watch her anymore.

I have been using my grandparents since then for my drill weekends and extended leave. This has been saving me an incredible amount of money, but my daughter is parked in front of electronics all day. I have a newish friend who offered to take my daughter for my coming drill weekend, but could not confirm until 3 days before. Due to these changes, the type of people that are watching my daughter. I feel like I am failing as a parent. I have to beg them to do things with her like take her to the park, to the pool, to her dance class! I understand they are doing me a huge favor by giving me free childcare, but it is so painful not being able to be there for her and make sure she is given the structure, play and discipline she needs.

My daughter's father is absent and I have never asked for child support. That makes things much harder. Being a military parent really sucks.