{Feelings/brain dump} Today was pickup day for my 2yr old son to go back to his mom and after a year it doesn't feel like these days are getting easier.

The silence in my house, missing his giggles, screams, pitter patter of running across the house, and wanting to be into everything I'm attempting to do. I found myself letting Octonauts just play in the background after he left because it kept my heart from hurting for that short period of time.

It's going to be a tough night not putting him to bed and hearing "hold my hand.. Thank you Dada".

I don't know how this gets easier and I'm not sure distracting myself til I'm "okay" is healthy either. This week has hit me really hard.

I really appreciate this sub, I don't have friends or family members that can relate or understand the hurt. Thank you for letting me get the feelings out.