I live in England and I have had an ongoing situation regarding the welfare of my 12 year old son when he was living with his mum & her boyfriend who was / is on methadone. A few developments have happened lately & I could do with some advice please. Her boyfriend was admitted to hospital last week with breathing problems. I have been reliably informed that it was as a result of smoking crack cocaine. His mum has not seen my son for 3 weeks due to various excuses & I allowed him to visit her for 2 hours last Tuesday. All she did when he was there was ask him if he would want to go back if she told her boyfriend to leave. She also said to him that he has had 8 months to tell her that he wanted her boyfriend to go but he didn’t. I found this to be an extremely unsuitable thing for her to say to him. My son has been living with me full time now for approx. 3 months & she is still claiming Child benefit & she recently blocked a claim I had put in.  I do not need the money & it isn’t about that. It is the fact that the money is supposed to be for my son & she is taking it away from him & committing fraud. I think she has also informed the council that my son stays with her on a weekend so that she is entitled to a 2 bed house.

I spoke to his older sister the other night who is in her mid 20’s & lives elsewhere. She confirmed that her mum is badly in debt & smokes cannabis daily. Her mum is borrowing money from extended family & it appears that she is using food banks. I can only assume that any money she has is going on drugs. I explained to his sister that her brother is best off living with me for his own mental & emotional health & she agreed. My son doesn’t like going to his mums & he will only go if the weather is fine & he can play outside with his mates.

His mum has now kicked her boyfriend out on Friday which obviously is good but I now am worried that she is going to think everything is fine & she will try her hardest to get my son to want to go back. His sister has said that she is going to help her mum build back a relationship with my son. I said that while this sounds positive it isn’t just as easy as that. In my opinion even if this guy has gone my son is still best of living with me until she gets some professional help with her mental health & financial issues. My son has said to her that he still doesn’t want to live there even though she's kicked this guy out. The reason for this is because she has lied to him over some horrendous things & she manipulates him. She has been known to regularly take amphetamines on a Friday when my son was staying with me but the comedown off of them would last until Tuesday / Wednesday. During this time she would act like a different person, stay up late, play loud music etc & my son started to notice her odd behaviour. She obviously denied anything was happening to my son & I when I questioned her. The amphetamine taking appeared to stop however maybe I just didn’t witness it or maybe she had switched to something harder with her boyfriend. What is for sure is that she often self-medicates for her poor mental health.

Also, I cannot see this guy leaving quietly. He has already shown that he is controlling & manipulative. I am still thinking of seeing a solicitor to see what they say. As I say it is fantastic that she's got this guy to leave but its only the tip of the iceberg. I truly believe if I was still financially supporting her & I was allowing my son to be there she wouldn’t be chucking this guy out. I think she’s hit rock bottom & realised the mess she has got herself into, but I don’t want my son to be part of any more of it. I have told his sister to tell her mum that under no circumstances do I want my sons mum to tell my son about her kicking this guy out until things have calmed down. My ex is under the impression that by kicking him out everything is going to be hunky-dory again.

My son is stable at my home now and I don't want this to change.

What can I do to protect him and not allow her to think she can just have him back staying there again when it's not healthy for him?