Oh God I just cried so hard. I went out to juggle at the nearby pride event and I couldn't do it. I wasn't good enough. They kept programming me; laughing at me. There's this next step in my training where I've got to see when I should look at something. A person looking at me. A celebration. A kid running in front of me. Audio cues. All while maintaining a fixed gaze at nothing in particular. It's too hard. I fuck up the smallest thing and I have the whole fucking Matrix up my ass about it. And it's too much for me. It makes me feel like the most inferior defected subhuman retard that I just broke down and started crying. I ran away. I just couldn't do it. I want to die. I can't even fucking juggle anymore. Just kill me.