Here are the feelings of failure again. I went out looking for a building that contained an organization that would help with finding volunteering positions. I went to where it was on Google maps, but there was no such organization there. Immediately I cave to the throes of needing a cigarette. I need to be better. Fortunately, I heard that I can volunteer at the Blanchet House. That at least steadies my mind and gives me direction so I don't feel like a complete waste of space.

I believe I do something worthwhile with my writing. Yet, despite helping out, it also reminds me that I'm not aligned with who I need to be. Look how much I've created, and I can't seem to turn it into a sustainable life. Why am I not able to support myself through my hard work? I don't know how to begin and that overwhelms me and I collapse, reinforcing my feelings of ineptitude.

This isn't defeat though. I just have to believe and keep putting my best foot forward. The more I try to get a leg up and improve myself, the more support I will receive from the universe. Today I had a setback, but I won't let it define where I'll be tomorrow.