I always thought I wanted 2 children and this was something that my partner and I discussed before having my daughter. She's only 11 weeks old but I have strong feelings towards now only wanting one child.

I hated being pregnant, I had a beautiful pregnancy, a real dream, no sickness, felt fine, just hated the feeling. I felt invaded and I'm not keen to share my body and grow a child again.

I did have a traumatic birth. A missed hind water leak and a week long labour at 3cm led to a stressful induction and birth.

I hate breastfeeding, we had a terrible latch and lots of pain and she spent her first weeks hungry and crying. She now gets pumped breast milk and it's better but it's exhausting and I am on the brink of giving up multiple times a day. I just want my body back. I can't imagine potentially doing this again.

I am so madly in love with my child. I want to give her everything I can and I imagine life being so much easier being able to focus on her alone. I don't want to split my attention and I love to imagine the opportunities I can give her if we only have one child to support financially.

I also miss work terribly and I have no desire to further derail my career for another pregnancy.

I think that having another baby so my daughter isn't an only child is a terrible reason to bring a person into the world but my partner is an incredible father and really genuinely wants another baby one day. I feel horrible because I am pretty well decided (open to my mind changing just find it unlikely) and I know he will be devastated. I feel like I am going back on my word and subverting the expectations established earlier in our relationship. How do I gently break it to him and when do I tell him? We have joked about it as part of the healing process from the birth and I know he is aware of how I feel because we talk about it regularly but I don't think he will take me seriously so soon after everything with the birth and postpartum experience. Anyone else in the same boat? How are you dealing with it?