Got this strange error from one of our support stuff at the datacenter

Dear aagavin,

It has come to our attention that your server had spontaneously closed session by means of remote shutdown, on Friday August 10 at 16:11:32. This technical failure is due to a glitch in the update function carried out by our servers located in our mainframe on the 8th floor of our building. The error occurred after our servers had finished updating. You see, our servers run on Linux and at the very moment the update finished installing we realized that a new operating system had been installed on our servers. Before we knew it, Windows 95 had consumed the computational state of our mainframe. It is alleged that the reason for this mishap was due to a malicious act carried out by Apple with the intent to conspire against Linux users.

What came next was a shock to me and the rest of the I.T. staff. They were everywhere... They consumed the sky. Ominous objects were rappelling from white overpriced helicopters with an illuminated Apple logo. They were people... People dressed in a seemingly vintage yet classy fashion. On their face they wore thick framed black square glasses with an accompanying checkered scarf around their necks. Their bodies were mainly covered with corduroy pants, argyle sweater vests, floral print dresses and boat shoes. In one hand, each individual possessed a venti beverage from Starbucks of the green-tea variety. It is presumed that each individual is a part-time employee of Starbucks, a Hipster Barista if you will. In their other hand they carried a crowbar that was later used to extract our servers from our mainframe to their helicopters. The metal that they salvaged from our servers was then used to manufacture Apple products in a Chinese sweatshop.

We were helpless at that moment and there was nothing that we could have possibly done to prepare for this catastrophic incident.

Apologetically,

Vince from I.T.

Any idea whats going on here?