This Reddit was made by an email with a fake name / it is not from my personal email.

I’m sorry it is so long, but please read the whole thing, I’ve done some immoral gross stuff (not illegal)

Guys I really need help, and honest feedback cause I’m stressin. I’m a 20 year old man and I’m ashamed of myself. I’m disgusted of what I’ve done in the past till now and if anyone irl knew what I done it’ll be over for me. Before I got sextorted for the first time when I was 18 I sent face nudes (pics and vids) to scammers who had my phone number (surprisingly none were sextortion scammers they were like “send me money for my gas to come meet you for the date” scammers

So since I was dumb as hell I only gotten scammed from like 3 guys pretending to be girls asking for gas money that’s it when I paid. I blocked them all eventually when still 18 and they never threatened to upload my face body nude vids of me masturbating or whatever. I’m just upset cause two of the three girls (scammers) have or had face and body nudes of me and my phone number. For all I know they could have uploaded them on a porn site, yet I search up this stuff in the quotes online “(name)’s (my town) nudes” or “(my phone number)” nudes” and can’t find any of my shit thankfully. But just because I can’t find it, it does not mean it isn’t there, so if they are uploaded on a site can employers find it 😭?

When I got sextorted I didn’t pay. I was an idiot and still despite sextortion I still sexted without face after. I’m a horny person and I hate myself that my kink is being watched masturbating, so I even would go on Coomeet (cam site) and be naked and jerk off while the models watch me (Im not paying obv and do the free version and you get 1 min free per girl), did that with face (before sextortion) and I do it without face or with mask on since then. My dumbass didn’t realize till recently that the girls or coomeet administration could have recorded me (which seems unlikely), but you never know, and I feel they could have uploaded the video to porn sites. I used an email with a fake name btw not my real one for this coomeet. Yet I search my Coomeet username on google trying to see if I can find a recorded cam call with me in it yet I haven’t yet.

I’m disgusted with myself truly. I know anyone who got this far in reading thinks I’m gross and a weirdo and you are right. I hate sending faceless nudes to ppl on apps and going on Coomeet but it’s like an unwanted kink I have and I pray to god to make me stop. I wish I hadn’t done all this, I have a decent body from training in the gym consistently yet too bad with girls irl so I’ve been doing this bullshit and I wish I never did.

Please don’t judge me, I’m horrible person, I have low self esteem, I hate that I’ve done all this and up until today I fucked up the most. I’ve done something vile. Because I developed a bit of a poop kink, like I have watched vids of girls pooping online (not often though) (I detest having this kink and I’m certain I would not enjoy partaking in it irl with a woman).

But I regret what I did today so much. I was in Coomeet pooping in the video call for 2 girls (barley any poop came out) in the call. (The models don’t care what you do; they want you to stay cause the longer they keep you the more money boss pays them). I didn’t have my mask and I thought the camera was lowered enough but I screen recorded the call to just see the reaction of the girls to me pooping to watch it later (I was gonna delete it after viewing it once, and had no intention of uploading it anywhere) but I noticed my face or some / most of my face was accidentally visible a few times when watching the recording; and the back of my head for the first girl was visible a lot (my phone was facing my butt and back when pooping)

So this was just one time and I know it’s unlikely but I hope the girls or Coomeet administrators did not record me doing this especially, and I hope they didn’t post it anywhere cause that is much worse than me naked masturbating. If my stuff is on the internet and ppl are bound to see it one day I hope who ever knows me irl finds masturbation and not the popping one from today, that’s the one that is 1000000000x worse. Guys, again I only enjoy doing this shit it in the moment but I feel utterly disgusted, like a loser every time after, because if anyone saw that I’d be disowned and no friends or gf / wife ever.

But yeah, again I have not found any of my nudes online and if they are online I want to clarify I did not upload them nor would I ever. It was done by scammers / strangers who took the pics / vids I sent them or who recorded me during video call (Coomeet) and uploaded them to porn sites without my consent. So can a background check for a job really find my nudes if I wasn’t the one who uploaded them? I just don’t wanna screwed for life cause I need a job to survive you know. Thanks 🙏

-thanks for reading; advice needed and vastly appreciated 😭

I hate myself, but I wanna be clear I will never kill myself, I wanna make it to 90 yrs.