I feel like this somewhat relates to sexology.

Hello, I have anways been facinated by the human body, but mostly by the sexual functions. I seem to have this intrigue about eroticism, and how everything relates to the human experience.

I would like to study, deconstruct, and critique (mostly "amateur) pornography. I am fascinated about seeing human sexuality acted out and practiced. I also try to see if there are any artistic merits to the content depicted in the video. Such as the meaning of the film. What the film represents to those who made it, and how others view it. It doesn't have to be a mainline career, but I have wondered if that could be possible.

However, it is highly difficult to find fellow individuals who share the same ideas as me. Sometimes I feel like a joke, but I often find myself looking at pornography for all the reasons people jokingly say they do it, but I am serious.

There is also a massive amount of disrespect present. For example, if I wanted to discuss a film with someone, ideally it would be more akin to a book report or film breakdown. Most people are unable to maintain any professionalism. I understand that arrousal may happen, but people often go off the rails. I can only describe it as I think they're whipping it out behind their screen and am going into "disrespect the hoe" mode.

I have met only a handful of people who can tolerate a degree of professionalism.

Should I try to pursue this, or is it a lost cause?