Been thinking about posting this for the better part of two weeks now, trying to figure out how to express what I want to say. The recent post about how providers don't have to see anyone they don't want to spurred me to actually go ahead and make an attempt at this. That post was mainly about choosing who they see based on broad demographics, but what I want to talk about is a little more personal. Mainly I want clients to see this, but I don't think it will be well-received in any of the client-centered subs (this should only reinforce the view of the guys on r/havingfunhobbying that I'm a huge simp/white knight...I welcome their derision), so I'm going to post it here (plus I would like sex workers to add their own views to this).

So, I was having a conversation (over text) with my regular provider a couple weeks back. She had shared a screenshot with me of a series of messages she had received from a client she had previously cut off for being a dumbass. Most of the messages were just him begging to be allowed back, and trying to shower her with praise talking about how much he enjoys seeing her, etc (as if that's supposed to be some sort of incentive for her), and his final message when she still didn't reply was just a petulant "K". At first we were just kind of joking about how pathetic he was, but then I made a comment about how it seemed like he had at least gotten the message and given up. But she didn't see it that way, and saw it more as him expressing his frustration and anger that he wasn't getting what he wanted. This set her off, and she vented at length about how much it upsets her when these guys (and there have been many who she's had to cut off for various reason) won't take the hint and give up, but rather keep begging to come back (sometimes for YEARS), in the hopes that she'll relent and "give them another chance". Coercion through exhaustion is a thing, and occasionally she has allowed some of them to see her again due to financial circumstances or just getting worn down by their persistence, which I knew occasionally happened. But she never had expressed in quite so unfiltered terms how it made her FEEL when she would do this. To quote what she said to me, "...it feels like I'm raping myself almost. Like I don't want to do it, I don't want to act nice and happy to see them but I force myself to do both." She then went on to talk about how it would make her skin crawl to have them touch her, and how detrimental it is to someone's mental state to be coerced into fucking someone who you don't want to see at all, and how much it upset her that these guys don't get the message that simply having money doesn't entitle them to being allowed inside her body. It was a really eye-opening moment for me, because while we had talked about her frustrations with some of the guys before, she had never quite put it in as strong of terms as she did this time.

This really got me thinking about some of the things I've seen expressed by clients on the subs here on reddit (and other places). I often see an attitude of "I'm the customer, I'm paying, I should get what I want". There seems to a tendency to forget that we're dealing with human beings who have actual feelings that may be VERY different from what they express outwardly. I see a lot of posts from guys who wax poetic about how much their providers just LOVE pleasing them and how great these women are compared to the "hags" they see posting on reddit, seemingly oblivious to the fact that what they're seeing in person is part of the act, and what they see on reddit is a byproduct of all the bullshit that sex workers have to deal with from clients like THEM. I wonder how they would feel about things if they heard how their providers really feel about being treated like vending machines in the same sort of raw and unfiltered language that my provider used when venting her frustrations to me. Do you WANT her to feel like she's "raping herself" by agreeing to see you, because she may be in a financial situation where she doesn't feel like she can afford to say no? Do you care about how she feels at all?

Anyway, I guess the point of all this is to PLEASE remember that you're dealing with human beings here, and not sex robots. Treat your providers with respect, follow their rules and boundaries, and if you fuck up and they express a desire not to see you again...let it go. You are entitled to precisely nothing when it comes to someone else's body, regardless of how much money you have.

Edit: it seems I've ruffled a few feathers over in the hobbying sub, lol. As I said, I welcome their derision. It is amusing how badly they misunderstand the dynamic here. u/Langston1113, Hurricane's phrase "goodest boi" is a term of endearment, not referring to me as a dog. 😆 Also I never corrected ANYONE and told them "Good man", so I don't know where you're getting that from. Please continue talking shit, but at least get your facts straight.