I did 7 hours of straight work yesterday all were good session no issue but when I finished I have this horrible stomach sinking feeling of pure anxiety and dread that made me question. Its like doing this work sucks my soul a little and I feel a lot of “Christian guilt” for doing this but we’re all stuck in this capitalist hell hole together and its pretty crucial for my livelyhood.

I just wanted to know if anyone related- I also have BPD so that may contribute to the anxiety and depression especially since its winter now but I couldnt shake the feeling that despite hitting over my target, having respectful clients and being the boss of my own schedule I still felt quite drained and sucked of my energy.

Has anyone got tips on what they do to rejuvenate after working to feel a bit like yourself again? I just woke up around an hour ago with a similar feeling but I feel better going on Reddit because I know I can’t be alone.

What sucks is that perceiving myself to be “broke” gives me anxiety Have a low paid civvie job - frustrates me as it does many people for various reasons When you start a business- most people you know will never support you and just stay as monitoring spirits yet this fast money lifestyle also contributes to doubt.

Before anyone wonders if I am mentally strong enough for this - I believe so. I have been doing this for years but its just a bout of negativity that consumes my mind and internal feelings I have to let pass sometimes…

Warm hugs for anyone that can relate out there 🫂