I honestly don’t know where else to go to talk about this. I can’t talk to my parents or friends… no one understands it.

Basically me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 months, she gave up escorting a few months before meeting me and is a full time onlyfans model, we are very much in love.

Before we started dating we had a talk, I don’t want her filming with other male models, she was fine with that. I’m fine with her filming with women, that’s a hole I literally can’t fill. She records her content with me, but recently has been slightly panicking about her numbers and brought up the fact that she might have to take up escorting again to pay her bills, this is where things get messy for me.

I’m an extremely monogamous person. she’s trying to explain to me that when we have sex she gets butterflies compared to a transactional non emotional interaction where she is basically “grimacing” the whole time. (Her words). I just don’t know if I can see myself ever being okay with another guy having his hands on her and being inside her. I feel like it would destroy my mental health, I don’t know what would hurt more, the relationship ending or her being with someone else..but we have been so happy up until this topic has came back up. Everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for escorting. But I’m not selfish enough to deny her paying her essential bills and rent if this is how she sees fit doing it.

Basically I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they felt about it? I’m not looking for a do it, don’t do it answer as obviously that’s something I will have to decide myself. But it’s nice to pick someone else’s brain that might be In a similar situation as us.

Thanks so much Reddit<3