I mostly just sell pictures of myself online and talk to guys on Zoom or on the phone or sometimes in real life. Only every now and then do I have Arrangements that are IRL if the guy is physically attractive to me. This guy is actually hot as hell, stupid lots of money so it kind of seemed perfect until now.

He's been offering a lot of money just to meet him at a hotel and give him a massage. He's been paying me just to talk to him so far. He's a widowed dad with 3 kids who works full time and lives out in the country so it's been hard to set up a time because he cancels a lot.

He says fucked up stuff sometimes when he's had a few beers and it's late at night and then he will backpedal the next time we talk. Like at first he said he thinks Trump can do great things for this country. I laughed at him and told him he's an idiot if he believes that. Then the next time he said you know I don't really love Trump it's just that I don't like Biden. And he acknowledged Trump is a sexist and he doesn't like that.

The other night he told me he would disown his children if they ever dated outside of their race. It began of course with "I'm not racist but..." I told him he's full of shit because he'd never actually know how he feels until he's in a situation like that. This guy's children are his whole life. He lives in a mostly black neighborhood, claims to have a lot of black friends, and his kids have a lot of black friends and he's cool with this but then goes and says this racist shit.

He quotes the bible and tells me he has black friends who feel the same way.

Then what's really funny is he tells me he would never be with a girl who isn't white or was ever with a non white guy. And I was like well guess what! There's some very dark skinned peeps in my family and I've already fucked a rainbow of guys. He didn't seem to care but now I feel like this guy showed me some anger and judgment and it's a little frightening. I don't think I would want to be alone with him in a hotel room now, especially late at night when he's been drinking. I guess I could insist on only daytime meetings but how do I avoid these stupid race conversations with him?