This is just a funny story about why most of my toys are now the rechargeable kind. The first time I considered the switch was one this girl who was not even 18 yet in my college class (gifted student skipped grades) asked me what I was gonna do after class. I said I was just going to the mall nearby to buy some batteries.

And she just straight up said, "Oh, for your sex toys?"

I gave her a gobsmacked look. She floundered a bit at my look of horror but she quickly began laughing. "Oh my gods, I was joking. But you are aren't ya!"

She giggled some more and then shared she was gonna buy her first toy on her birthday soon. And I wanted to be happy for her, but I was just so stunned and mortified that I was easily discovered.

If I had a nickel for every time someone correctly assumed I was buying batteries for sex toys, I would have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but IT'S GODDAMNS EMBARASSING THAT IT HAPPENDED TWICE!!!

The second time was when I was vacationing in my mom's cousin's beach house. I needed some batteries but I didn't know the town so I asked if there were any in the house. I asked, "hey, where's your battery drawer."

And he was like "battery drawer?"

"You know, where you keep your batteries supply?"

"Why would I keep a supply? What do I need so many batteries for? Dildos?"

I froze. (I actually needed it for a vibrator but I still froze.) I felt my face heat up but I tried to play it cool. "Ah.... what?"

My mom's cousin seemed to think I was offput by the dirty joke and not that he was completely right. He told me to take the batteries out of the tv remote since no one in our family watches TV much anymore. Never mind that they weren't the kind I needed.

I didn't wait for a third time to happen. I immediately looked up rechargeable toys when I got home from the vacation.